Today

Today,
I woke up at 4am to cook lunch for my dear husband..

Today,
Is the day my husband is unwell..

Today,
Is the day my mind is TOTALLY absent from my body..

Today,
Is the day my husband called me at 11am+ realising I did not switch
off the fire from the stove!!!! :s (luckily, the fire is a small one,
and the food is still edible and warm)

Today,
I feel guilty as hell because of what happened..(from 5am all the way
til 11am+?? really? Khasanah??)

Today,
I almost cause a colleague to scream for my absent mindedness..

Today,
I had to stand outside the door and wait for somebody to open it for
me because i forgot to bring my staff pass..

Today,
I feel like going somewhere and scream, "WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO
YOU KHASANAH!"

So that's my Today for you..

Sent from my iPhone

Sneaking Spicy Umian

I miss eating my fav Banquet Spicy Umian! (read: with lotsa cili padi!)

I use to eat it EVERYDAY after work.

Still remember how I used to go Banquet and tapau-ed my Umian. I would
sneak it into my room because i didnt want to share (yes, im selfish
like that when it comes to this fav food of mine :p), and then go to
the kitchen to take a big bowl, a spoon and fork and happily eat the
heavenly Spicy Umian while watching my fav chinese drama on channel 8.
So shiok! ;)

ALL these in my room. Aaah~~ the perks of having your own room!

The best thing is, nobody in my family knew I did all that everyday
after work..hehehe..

Maybe they were thinking that I must be very tired at work and badly
needed a rest..;)

Now, I cant do that anymore because I share a room with my hubby. It
would be a funny sight if I sneak Spicy Umian in our room, and if my
hubby walk in..kantoi lah beb! Later, he also want, how? Hahaha...:p

I am so craving for it now..I dont mind eating it everyday again...and
of course with lotsa cili padi! :)

Oh my Spicy Umian~~ :)

Sent from my iPhone

Words are not enough

Today, was my first day at work..
A new day, a new job and a brand new age for me...

I was a little intimidated with the whole place..everything seemed so
much bigger.. The place, the workload, the number of people..

After a while of orientation by my seniors, thank God I felt relaxed
and was able to see the bigger picture..

The seniors were very friendly and helpful..

Initially, i had my worries about my prayer time at work..i still
remember when i had to pray at staircase landings before..

So i decided to ask a muslim colleague..and to my surprise, he said
there's a musolla dedicated for muslim employees..i wanted to cry out
of joy there and then...

First, God answered my prayers and gave me the job i dreamed of..and
then, he provided prayer room..so that i should always remember His
gift and be thankful of it...

What added on to my joy is that there is a shuttle bus to and from the
building to Alj MRT and Potong Pasir NEL..so its very convenient..

I am very very thankful to Allah, that words alone cannot describe my
sense of gratitute..

This is the Best birthday present that Allah Almighty bestowed upon me..

Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah...

Shall update again later lovelies, im off for my birthday dinner!

Toodles!

Sent from my iPhone

New life

I have got a job.

You can call it a dream job.

Im just wondering what will my first day be like..
Im excited at the same time nervous..
Its gonna be my first time working in a 'real' organisation..

Never been in one before..
I am tired of looking for a new job everytime..

I just want to do my job well and get what i am supposed to get in due
time..

I really do not want to feel cheated again...

Last Friday was such a big blow to me..didnt expect things to turn out
like that..

Whatever it is, i am moving on..

Here's to a better life ahead,
CHEERS!

Alhamdulillah..:)

Sent from my iPhone

the ones I will miss

When one leaves a work place for good,

there will definitely be something that one will miss about it.

In my case,

I will miss my 2 sweetest colleagues..

Ever since I graduated,

They are the FIRST female colleagues I've ever had..

People say female colleagues can be very bitchy at times..

But thats not the case for these 2 girls..

When times are bad in the office and when things get crappy,

They brighten up my day..

Hello everybody,

Meet Yatee and Junn..

Junn was a writer in the company..

She made my days in the office brighter with her laughter..

LOUD laughter and infectious too..:)

She loves Belle from Beauty and the Beast,

and she often spilled coffee on the carpet, on her dress, on the table, anywhere..

hihihi...;)

Yatee is the designer..

She is my Ice cream buddy..

when we feel like indulging in a sinfully delicious rich ice cream after a full meal,

we will go to the ice cream cafe downstairs..

She's also my 'bekal' partner..

Most of the time she brought lunch from home,

now that Im leaving, her new partner will be the new guy in the block, Wady..

hihihi...

When these 2 ladies are put together in one office,

they instantly brightens up everyone's day..

They are also 2 of the most generous people

I've known..

Sometimes when I reach office in the morning,

there will be chocolates, curry puffs and lots of other goodies on my table..

Memang rezeki melimpah..

May Allah bless them with more rezeki always..

Amiin..:)

Thats why I said,

I will definitely miss them both!

Eager to scream

Oh yeah...

Today's the day..My last day with this company..

Despite the downside of my experiences here, I cannot deny the fact that I had my fair share of good times too..

The highlight of it all, was when I finally get to meet CT!

Now, its time to close one chapter and open a new one..

I pray that this new chapter will be a better one and there will be no scary episodes in it..

Please....

I must also remember my promises to Him Almighty..

For a last day,

I am VERY early for work..

I have organised every files and folders so that it is easy for my replacement later..

(am I good or whaaat??)

and,

I really cant wait for this day to end...!

Eager to scream "IM FREE!!" at 6 o' clock today..

P/S: feeling slightly down...hmm..

P/s/s: my sweet colleague just gave me my FAV choc bars! nak cry leh..huhu..

What A Monday

What a Monday!

First,

I got busted for being late to work..

All due to some "unforeseen" circumstances..:p

Im so going to go to work early tomorrow..

And then, another client postponed their ad,

hence, not helping my already little revenue...:s

Yeah,

I think that it is a sign for me to leave..

I've got 11 or 12 more days before I say goodbye..

I'd like to appreciate every last moments I have here..

The good ones that is..

Cant wait for a new life..=)

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah jalan hambaMu ini..

Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Memahami..

Amiin..

Once in a lifetime

Today, I just want to remember the best thing that happened recently,

that made me feel over the moon...

THE day I met my idol,

D*ato' S*iti N*ur H*aliza..

Met her at the R*oyal P*laza On S*cotts Hotel..

It was the Press Conference for S*uria Elektra..

God knows how I felt at that point of time...

hihi..

let the pictures do the talking aite? ;)

I'll remember this, forever..=)

DREAMS can wait long long (NOT!)

"sometimes its not that we want to be choosy, but we have important things to factor in thus we request a certain expectation..but people dont know that..and when we give in and follow suit, we face with hardship in life..who wants hardship? nobody..*confuse soul*"

That, is my current FB status. I am in a state of confusion.

I might be jobless starting April.

I've been looking around for a new job for so long..So so long..

All I wanted is for people to appreciate me..I work I commit..

but why did I always end up feeling cheated.

Who says $ is not important?

Dare you say that to my face and I'll knock you down with my smelly socks..

Without $ I can never achieve dreams..

Dreams of studying, dream of making my parents and parents in-law happy, dreams of making it big with my passion in photography, dreams of traveling to the places I dream of going before I die, dreams of having a child and to care and nurture him/her to the very best...

DREAMS...

How do we ever achieve them without $..?

I took my bachelors not without $ problems..

I troubled my parents (and aunt, God bless them all) enough to make sure I graduated..

All these is with a LOT of $..

Now, when I wanted to get a job, that pays well,

people just dont appreciate..

(dengar2 dulu belajar FREE)

They give a measly $ and demand that a 3 to 5 person tasks to be done in a day, by 1 person..

They can even toy around with my $, and claimed that the company is not making $..

hmm..

should that be the case?

Im getting more and more scared to get a new job because Im scared I might land one that is no different from the others..

really...

Now, I've 4 interviews..

1 shift work and 3 9to5..

I dont know whether to accept the shift job, should they offer me..

Time is the big factor..

the other 3, is normal working hours..

Should they accept me,

I pray I will get a $ that is reasonable..

If not, my DREAMS shall wait long long...

Test

Test entry via mobile

Sent from my iPhone

That Precious Little Darling

Visited bestie's crib today...
was so excited to see her newborn..

Nour Qasrina,
she's so precious..
those tiny little fingers melted my heart..
her adorable cheeks are just so kissable and munchable..































Bought her these little darlings..
am glad you liked it Su..=)






























One day when Qasrina wears them,
take pictures and show me okay..=)

Here's one more for you people to boogle (read: baby+oogle) at..
teeheehee...;)


































Good night Darls! =)

I SEE YOU IN COURT

I really do not know how to describe what Im feeling right now..

Its been a crazy roller coaster ride with this issue..

He's THE photographer from hell!

Dont know whats up with him,

Is it so hard to just give me my wedding photos?

We didnt even bother him with all the editing, just a simple, "take pictures, give us the raw files. Thats all"

And that took him almost 3 months and counting..

I am clueless to whether I will ever get my photos back..

He turned the table, and blame me for this problem..

When clearly, he's the problematic one!

Whats his problem?

We dont know..He didnt tell us anything and kept playing with time..

Today we found out that he's going fishing!

fishing! can you comprehend that??

No time to give our wedding photos, but can still have fun and go fishing?

wth??

He is, my BIGGEST regret in life..seriously!

Im giving time until tomorrow, and if its still the same

thats IT, we're going the legal way..

Money, we can get back..

but memories of my solemnisation is priceless..

Im not going to get my $600 back, but Im asking for more..

To compensate the trauma that im going through because of this bugger!

I'll see you in court. LIAR!

Back to My Roots

I AM BACK!!!

Gosh! I miss blogging from my Secretdoor!
New life new blog layout..hope you like it..=)

Been thinking of the new layout..and after much thought, this is it!

If you like it, do show some love at my tag board okay! ;)

so sorry to trouble you, but if you've linked me on your blogs with seventhepisode, do not delete it as that webbie is still active but for professional purposes..thats where the photography portfolios are..

for my blog, its here! at my dearest secretdoor.blogspot.com


till we meet again in the another entry,

Good night mua darlings!

Relink! Relink! Relink!

Hello everybody!

I am no longer blogging here

I now blog from my own webbie..

So what are you waiting for!

Click on the link to go to my new home:

www.seventhepisode.com


Relink me! =)

Should I or Shouldnt I?

Hey All..

I really could not sleep...
So many things on my mind...
But nowadays,
I feel I could not share things that is on my mind, here in this blog...

Everything in my mind lately
has been very private and complicated to talk about in this blog...

I have to find other alternatives,
I guess..

A thought came to my mind just a sec ago..
I'd like to close down this blog...



Shocking?
NO? hmm...

I dont know...


I just want to open a new chapter in my life..
Wish to forget everything in the past,
starting this very moment...
Just start everything with a clean slate...

I've penned every bitter sweet moments in my life,
here in this blog...
This blog is like my heart monologuing just about anything
that came across it...

But really,
Most of the things in my heart cant be typed out
and be shared with anybody anymore..

Therefore,
I thought,
should I or shouldnt I?

I'll give myself just one more day to think,
and we''ll see whats the outcome...

meanwhile,
Please excuse me
While I continue to think...

Excuse Me

Please excuse me,
I NEED to scream.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ya Allah,
Forgive me for not being strong..

I need Your help,
Without which,
I am incapable..

Ada Masa Mata

This new song by Siti Nurhaliza,
touched my heart..
The lyric is meaningful..

"kadang-kala orang menilai secara dasar..
dan lupa nak mengenali hati budi orang yang lain"

ADA MASA MASA
BUKAN DENGAN MATA
NAK MENILAI RUPA
MANA CANTIK, MOLEK DAN MANIS
TETAPI ITU KERJA HATI
MELIHAT DARI PEKERTI

ADA MASA MASA
DARI SISI SAMA
MASIH TETAP JUA
PANDANGAN BOLEH BERBEZA
ASALKAN SAJA DI HATI
SUDI CUBA MEMAHAMI

ADA MASA MATA
ADA SAHAJA
ADA YANG TIDAKLAH KENA
CEREWET MENCARI SEMPURNA
TERLUPA APA BERHARGA

ADA MASA MATA
ADA KETIKA
TAK TERLIHAT CELA
KERANA HATI SUDAH SUKA
SEPERTI JUGA AKU
BILA MENGENALI DIRIMU

JANGAN KUNCI
PINTU HATI
LEPAS PANDANG
SEBALIK DIRI
BILA INDAH TELAH PUDAR
ATAS APA KITA BERDIRI

I am FREAKIN ANGRY

People who know me personally would say
Im not the angry type of person..
Even if Im a victim, I would still take my time to think,
whether I should scream at people that annoy me or not..

Most of the time,
I would just let it go and just imagine I scream vulgarities at them
and do something terrible to them in my head...

So far,
NO ONE in this world has caused me to want to do
other than that..

BUT!

This one particular person...
A girl...
Whom my mother fondly titled her as 'anjing gila'...

This girl has been in the picture ever since me and my brothers
were still in secondary school....
(that was around the year 2000)

The whole family tried not to judge her...
But time and time again,
she proved us wrong..

She caused our family to fall apart like crazy....
She bad-mouthed people..
She makes 'drama' just to get attention..
She shouted vulgarities at BOTH MY PARENTS!!!
She shouted vulgarities at HER PARENTS!!
She freakin' smokes ciggies..
She talks rude..
She influenced our in-laws by badmouthing us...
and many other BAD BAD characteristics....

(I tried to be kind and look at her good side instead, but she's gone too far that I simply CANNOT look at her good side!)


All that and she can freakin' ask people
'why people dont like me??'

Whatda??!!!!

Since she cant be changed and does not want to change,
My family just cant be bothered with her...

But yesterday,
She did it again..
she just somehow manage to irritate people with
her nonsensical behaviour!

She went to my aunt's house!

My aunt doesnt even know her!!!
and was startled to find a crying girl
at her doorstep...

Begging to meet my brother,
and saying she wants to kill herself..

You want to kill yourself,
so??
Go and freakin kill yourself lah..
None of our business!!

Good then!
That's one crazy person down..
The world does not need a person as outrageous as you!!

Its all for attention..
No one in the world who wants to kill themselves,
would tell people that...

they would just go and DIE lah!

STUPID!


My aunt had no choice but
to get her in the house and let her tell
her 'pitiful' story...


What a shameless person!
pegi rumah sedara mara orang
and then bukak pekong sendiri??

Dasar perempuan tak tau malu...!!


Even with all these nonsense,
I've always reserved a thought that maybe she's not that bad...


BUT!!!!!
until one particular Ramadhan..

She kept calling my house...
When I finally had enough,
I answered and told her that its maghrib, and
that as a girl she should be ashamed to be calling
and annoying people like that...

And guess what??

She smsed my dad
to freakin tell him 'to watch his daughter's mouth'!!!

Whatda!!!??
Who the hell is she to tell my dad to do that???
Mother Bugger you!!!

Now,
you tell me perempuan jenis apa tu??

is it her or is it just me??

From that day onwards,
I shut all reservations with regards to her good characters!


Any sane person in this world would NOT want to be friends
or entertain her nonsense...!

What can I say,
She's desperate!

I personally believe,
Akhlak dan peribadi seorang wanita tu harus dijaga..

I believe,
that a person CAN change from vices to virtues..
But,
Kalau rasa kesedaran, humility and malu tu dah takde langsung,
ginilah jadinya...



Sidenote: This is me being VERY ANGRY. The very seldom emotion has come.

Just an update after so long....

I have been very lazy updating my blog.
Pardon me, but every single time I thought of blogging,
I felt like gagging..

OK, I'm just saying that just cause it rhymes..
DRAAAG!
:p


The house is still under renovation..
I'd say its 80% done...
Hope it'll be 90% by the end of this week
and all done up by end of next week..

Its really squeezing the juices out of me, this whole renovation thingy..
Every end of the day made me feel too tired to do anything else...
We are like tourist in our own country...
Staying from one hotel to another, one chalet to another and one relative to another...

The part I hated most is the packing and unpacking of stuff..
Mind you, I have my facial wash set, my tons of clothes (I work Mon to Sun),
my basic make-up necessities, my personal toiletries, etc...

I'm a girl, I have lots of stuff, you know...

So every time we move, I have to lug this hee-yuge luggage
around..

I just hope at the end of all this,
Its all worth it!

I can see my house my parents' house
starting to look all modern and chic...
ahakz...

and I requested my room to be painted in two shades of PINK!!
yay!


Oh btw,
I have officially closed my friendster account!

I've been meaning to do it since many many moons ago...
I don't know what held me back...
But anyway, I did it!
and it felt good! =)


and oh,
A happy belated new year to all of you!

I refuse to have any resolutions..
Cause it all never really came true...

Im just going to focus on the plans I've already been working on for this year...

I pray it will all unfold smoothly..
Amiin...


Tata!

My Precious Blue Gem

I've been very busy..
Juggling stuff here and there..

So busy I forgot what its like to jump for joy...

Until one day,

THIS!

caused a big fat chesire cat GRIN on my face!

=)

A gift from Love..

A token that we're meant to be..

and that we are well on our journey

to become 'Mr. and Mrs.' soon, InsyaAllah, he said.

=)

This precious Blue Gem,

I Love and care with all my heart..

Thank You Darling! =)