Sunday, September 16, 2012

A New Life

Im back blogging..after almost 4 months of hiatus!

Motherhood is my new life now..
The past three months has been full of ups and downs, joys and tears, a lot of adjustments had to be done..
Which explains the lack of blogging!

2 days after my last blog entry I experienced contractions. That was the beginning of my sleepless nights up until now.
Contractions was really painful, for me. As mentioned before I have low pain threshold. After 3 days of contractions at home I went to the hospital and was admitted.

So that was it!
We were going to meet lil A for the first time really soon..
I was in tears because of the pain. I was shivering really bad that i felt the bed shook beneath me. Hubby was in tears seeing me in that kind of pain. I didnt want the epidural, but relented and requested for it at 6 cm dilated. One more cm late, the doctor wouldnt have allowed for the epidural to be administered. phew!

When time came for pushing, It felt exactly like constipation! haha!
I didnt think it was as bad as contractions!
Seven minutes of pushing and Syed Ali Alkaff was born!
That cry, the sound was music to my ears...:')

Instantly we became parents! Alhamdulillah.

Fast forward 3 months later, Ali is now a healthy and happy lil boy.
We love him so much! :)

Life with a baby is definitely challenging. No one day is the same. Everyday is a new day with Ali's development to watch out for.

If im asked what I miss most from my life before, my answer will be
1) SLEEP! hehe..But when Ali smiles at me, I feel it is all worthwhile...
2) US. hubby and me. Just US. I think we've become parents and need to find the lovers in us again..heh..

If im asked if I want to have another child, my answer would be, Yes! haha..but for now im just not sure when. It can be really really soon or it can wait a few years later..;)  Maternity leave every year pun ok gak each year keje 9 bulan je..nyehehehe *ketawa keluar tanduk*

My maternity leave is about to end. One more week of tai-tai-ing..(wish I dont have to go back to work)
Am going to miss Ali so much..sob sob..

But I will be blogging again..If time permits at work..=)

Gotta go attend to my lil guy now, tata! 

Friday, May 18, 2012

Counting Days

We're counting days..
There's not a single day that went by without us wondering "is it today?"
Lil A is 2 weeks shy of going full term..
Im now roughly around 38 weeks..
By right, I still have 2 weeks to go..
But, you never know...

Probably because we're starting to feel excited and eager..
So we sort of want baby to come now..hehe..

As for me,
I am feeling the mother of all lethargy..
Emotions getting wilder...
Tears can just roll when I feel super tired..
I cry while watching TV, or even over something others say...
Point is, these emotions are very random..

Toilet visits are also frequent..too frequent..
I thought the frequent visits during my 1st trimester was bad..
THIS is even bad...
At times, I need to go at every 5-10 mins interval. Especially at night..
I feel sleep deprived..
Which could be the contributing factor for my crazy lethargy and emotions..

Despite all this,
I tried to keep a positive attitude..
Husband is always there to give a hug or a kiss or even kata-kata semangat...
When Im in discomfort, he'll gently rub my tummy while reading some Zikrullah or Duas..
That would almost always help me fall asleep..
Surpisingly, Lil 'A will also become calmer and be less active and let me sleep..

Now that the time is getting nearer,
I cant deny the fact Im starting to feel all jittery and worried all over again..
But I've prepped myself mentally, everyday without fail..
My mantra is, "RELAX..Whatever happens, REMAIN COOL, Breathe and Relax"
So far it is working..Unlike the past months,
if anybody were to ask me now if Im ready to go into labor, I'll say yes without a doubt!

I've been having some sort of contractions lately,
which I attribute to the famous Braxton Hicks..
It does feel like menstrual cramps are about to come full blow..
But after a while it will go away..
This comes and goes from time to time..
Each time, my mantra helps me to remain calm and collected..
A little back massage from hubby also helps..(SUPER DUPER helps! believe me! =))

When the real contractions come,
I will act like its nothing..hehe..and try to relax...

*im blogging all this and feels like crying..tak about being emo*

As for now,
Im looking forward to go on maternity leave..
The stress Im feeling at work is just too much to bear on top of being heavily pregnant..
Hoping the early maternity leave will get me some proper rest before I use all my energy to PUSH!

Allah Yusahhil. Amiin!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

7 Weeks More

At 33 weeks,
weighs 59 kg (lost 2 kg),
with a 2.1kg baby inside me (hope he remains weighing 2. something kg k..teehee),
I have roughly 7 weeks plus/minus more to go..

Latest development for this pregnancy:

-I am STILL vomiting!
It hurts and I cant do anything about it. I even developed this fear that I will continue to have vomiting spells way after I've given birth..oh tidaaaak.....:s

-I kept having SUPER dry mouth..
Which resulted in me constantly drinking water and have frequent toilet visits. It is tiring but its a normal thing for preggers. Its just the weird dry sensation in my mouth that's a bit disturbing.

-I have this sudden feeling of total heaviness from head to toe.
Like if I am stationary and I decide to move, e.g from sitting to standing or from standing to walking,
my body will feel like it's going to collapse face first because it is too heavy..As if my muscles have all given up on me..:s

-My ribs are still very sore.
I've been having this one for quite a while that I've become 'pasrah'..heh..I'd usually put ice pack and lie down and it will feel slightly better. The only problem with this is that I cant just 'lie down' when I am at work..So I had to endure hours of pain before I finally get to lie down. And because I had to endure pain throughout work hours, my face will have the 'scrunched up' look plastered on it all the time..Also, it triples my irritation towards annoying people at work..

-Other aches.
I didn't really have lower back or feet aches before. Only started feeling it, recently..Most probably cos Lil 'A is bigger now so it is causing me to 'feel' the muscle strain more now. I am naturally a fast-paced person, so at times I forgot that I am supposed to slow down, and my uterus will feel contracted and because it hurts I can barely walk. In the end I am forced to walk really really REALLY slowly...

So my gynae have already mentioned that by the next appt she will be doing a V-jay jay check to see the cervix opening. My least fav part of any medical checkup! Mainly because it is kind of embarrassing to have people looking down there..haha..and also because it is uncomfortable to have doctors/nurses poking here and there inside..erk..

So, who wanna make a guess whether baby's gonna make appearance in May or June?
No prize for the correct answer yeah! ;)

Saturday, April 07, 2012

My birthday wasn't exactly THE best this year..
Except for the fact my hubby totally surprised me with my fav flowers,
A bouquet of BLUE ROSES!! *Mad Love*

Everything else was sort of a disappointment
I didn't want to think too much about it,
but I guess being pregnant and hormonal kind of escalates the sadness and disappointment I felt..
Hubby was also feeling disappointed because of what happened, so you can imagine I felt even worse as I am the so-called victim *drama-much*
Cried so much, had a major breakdown!! Seriously sobbing like there's no tomorrow..:(
Hubby had to cradle and rock me softly in his effort to console me, yes the whole 61kg me! :'(

In the end,
I told myself, there's no one else for me except my husband and our own little family..

So much for the memorable last birthday before I become a mommy! (-_-')

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Last Birthday as just ME

I am going to be 28 years old tomorrow.

28 is a big deal!
Ever since my 25th birthday, I find it hard to really remember what age I am at, at present..
Serious! Not bluffing!
If someone ask me how old I am, It would take me a few seconds to remember..

Now I will be 28..
What have I achieved?
Plenty, Alhamdullillah..
Some still unachieved..

People say, always count your blessings..
I am a Degree holder,
I am married to a wonderful man,
We have our own house,
We have a car,
We have our own little 'business',
I am working at a place where it is related to my degree,
I am pregnant,
I will become a mother, real soon, I'Allah..

Syukur Alhamdulillah for all these Dear Allah..

There's definitely more that I want to achieve in future.
From when I was younger,
I have this one particular dream..

For now, only my dad and husband know about it.
but, it is not achievable at the moment..
I know it is not easy,

I pray to Allah that He will grant this wish of mine soon..

Another important point of this entry is,
I want to savour every moment of it..each and every single bit of it..
May tomorrow and the rest of MY April (yeah! I own the month of April ;p) be the best April ever!

Tuesday, April 03, 2012


Husband introduced me to Selawat Burdah
and now I cant stop listening to it..

Hubby would read it to me at night when I cant sleep
while slowly stroking my tummy to calm our active lil boy..=)

Sharing it here, so that everyone can benefit from it. =)

Mawlaya salli wa sallim da’iman abada
'Ala habibika khayril khalqi kullihimi

 Muhammadun sayyidul kawnayni wath thaqalayn
Wal fariqayni min 'urbin wa min 'ajami

Huwal habibul ladhi turja shafa'atuhu
Likulli hawlin minal ahwali muqtahami


Thummar ridha 'an Abi Bakrin wa 'an 'Umarin
Wa 'an 'Aliyyin wa 'an 'Uthmana dhil karami


Ya rabbi bil Mustafa balligh maqasidana
Waghfir lana ma ma\a ya wasi'al karami

Monday, April 02, 2012

A Step Forward - Seventh Episode

We have moved a step forward in photography.
We've gotten our desired studio lighting and stuff.

And what best way to officiate the Seventh Episode Studio?
By having my very own Maternity Photoshoot!
Also, what best date to do it?
1st of April! My fav month!

If you're already in my FB Friend's list, you'll be able to see the photos.
If you're not, Im gonna share a few of my fav shots of the day and some stories behind the scene etc..
So, clap your hands now! *clap clap* =)

I wasnt exactly in the mood for a photoshoot, since my ribs was aching horribly
and all I wanted to do was to lie down..
But seeing how hubby was so eager about it, I told myself to suck it in and brave through the shoot.

Im glad I did because the shoot took a turn to be one memorable night for me!

Here are my Fav shots!

1) This picture will be the very first picture in Lil 'A photo Album! It speaks a thousand words. Its just, US. Hubby, Me and Our Baby =)

2) I chose to pose like this because nak-feeling-berada-di-awang-awangan. Looking forward to a future together with Lil 'A in our lives gitu..;)

3) This is my fav because looking at the 1st picture, it feels like hubby is feeling serene and waiting for Lil 'A to kick. Then comes in the 2nd pic as if saying "EH!!! He's Kicking!!! waaaah!" LOL!

4) I didnt realise my face have become 'swollen' from pregnancy until I saw this picture. I dont think I've ever had this 'tembam-ness' before. haha..

5) I didnt know why out of the blue, I burst out laughing. REALLY laughing, the BWAHAHAHAHAHA kind of laughter. Somehow in the midst of the shoot, I find it funny that we're both posing here and there and wondering if the composition of the picture is correct cos we cant see the result until the pictures taken. I truly lost it here at this moment and cannot stop laughing. While I was laughing like a mad women, hubby took the opportunity of pressing the shutter as much as he can. Sempat lagiiii! :p

Looking forward to more studio shoots!

If you're interested,
You know where to contact me yah! =)