A New Life

Alhamdulillah!
Im back blogging..after almost 4 months of hiatus!

Motherhood is my new life now..
The past three months has been full of ups and downs, joys and tears, a lot of adjustments had to be done..
Which explains the lack of blogging!

2 days after my last blog entry I experienced contractions. That was the beginning of my sleepless nights up until now.
Contractions was really painful, for me. As mentioned before I have low pain threshold. After 3 days of contractions at home I went to the hospital and was admitted.

So that was it!
We were going to meet lil A for the first time really soon..
I was in tears because of the pain. I was shivering really bad that i felt the bed shook beneath me. Hubby was in tears seeing me in that kind of pain. I didnt want the epidural, but relented and requested for it at 6 cm dilated. One more cm late, the doctor wouldnt have allowed for the epidural to be administered. phew!

When time came for pushing, It felt exactly like constipation! haha!
I didnt think it was as bad as contractions!
Seven minutes of pushing and Syed Ali Alkaff was born!
That cry, the sound was music to my ears...:')

Instantly we became parents! Alhamdulillah.

Fast forward 3 months later, Ali is now a healthy and happy lil boy.
We love him so much! :)

Life with a baby is definitely challenging. No one day is the same. Everyday is a new day with Ali's development to watch out for.

If im asked what I miss most from my life before, my answer will be
1) SLEEP! hehe..But when Ali smiles at me, I feel it is all worthwhile...
2) US. hubby and me. Just US. I think we've become parents and need to find the lovers in us again..heh..

If im asked if I want to have another child, my answer would be, Yes! haha..but for now im just not sure when. It can be really really soon or it can wait a few years later..;)  Maternity leave every year pun ok gak kan..hehe..so each year keje 9 bulan je..nyehehehe *ketawa keluar tanduk*

My maternity leave is about to end. One more week of tai-tai-ing..(wish I dont have to go back to work)
Am going to miss Ali so much..sob sob..

But I will be blogging again..If time permits at work..=)

Gotta go attend to my lil guy now, tata! 

Counting Days

We're counting days..
There's not a single day that went by without us wondering "is it today?"
Lil A is 2 weeks shy of going full term..
Im now roughly around 38 weeks..
By right, I still have 2 weeks to go..
But, you never know...

Probably because we're starting to feel excited and eager..
So we sort of want baby to come now..hehe..

As for me,
I am feeling the mother of all lethargy..
Emotions getting wilder...
Tears can just roll when I feel super tired..
I cry while watching TV, or even over something others say...
Point is, these emotions are very random..

Toilet visits are also frequent..too frequent..
I thought the frequent visits during my 1st trimester was bad..
THIS is even bad...
At times, I need to go at every 5-10 mins interval. Especially at night..
I feel sleep deprived..
Which could be the contributing factor for my crazy lethargy and emotions..

Despite all this,
I tried to keep a positive attitude..
Husband is always there to give a hug or a kiss or even kata-kata semangat...
When Im in discomfort, he'll gently rub my tummy while reading some Zikrullah or Duas..
That would almost always help me fall asleep..
Surpisingly, Lil 'A will also become calmer and be less active and let me sleep..

Now that the time is getting nearer,
I cant deny the fact Im starting to feel all jittery and worried all over again..
But I've prepped myself mentally, everyday without fail..
My mantra is, "RELAX..Whatever happens, REMAIN COOL, Breathe and Relax"
So far it is working..Unlike the past months,
if anybody were to ask me now if Im ready to go into labor, I'll say yes without a doubt!

I've been having some sort of contractions lately,
which I attribute to the famous Braxton Hicks..
It does feel like menstrual cramps are about to come full blow..
But after a while it will go away..
This comes and goes from time to time..
Each time, my mantra helps me to remain calm and collected..
A little back massage from hubby also helps..(SUPER DUPER helps! believe me! =))

When the real contractions come,
I will act like its nothing..hehe..and try to relax...

*im blogging all this and feels like crying..tak pasal2..talk about being emo*

As for now,
Im looking forward to go on maternity leave..
The stress Im feeling at work is just too much to bear on top of being heavily pregnant..
Hoping the early maternity leave will get me some proper rest before I use all my energy to PUSH!

Allah Yusahhil. Amiin!

7 Weeks More

At 33 weeks,
weighs 59 kg (lost 2 kg),
with a 2.1kg baby inside me (hope he remains weighing 2. something kg k..teehee),
I have roughly 7 weeks plus/minus more to go..

Latest development for this pregnancy:

-I am STILL vomiting!
It hurts and I cant do anything about it. I even developed this fear that I will continue to have vomiting spells way after I've given birth..oh tidaaaak.....:s

-I kept having SUPER dry mouth..
Which resulted in me constantly drinking water and have frequent toilet visits. It is tiring but its a normal thing for preggers. Its just the weird dry sensation in my mouth that's a bit disturbing.

-I have this sudden feeling of total heaviness from head to toe.
Like if I am stationary and I decide to move, e.g from sitting to standing or from standing to walking,
my body will feel like it's going to collapse face first because it is too heavy..As if my muscles have all given up on me..:s

-My ribs are still very sore.
I've been having this one for quite a while that I've become 'pasrah'..heh..I'd usually put ice pack and lie down and it will feel slightly better. The only problem with this is that I cant just 'lie down' when I am at work..So I had to endure hours of pain before I finally get to lie down. And because I had to endure pain throughout work hours, my face will have the 'scrunched up' look plastered on it all the time..Also, it triples my irritation towards annoying people at work..

-Other aches.
I didn't really have lower back or feet aches before. Only started feeling it, recently..Most probably cos Lil 'A is bigger now so it is causing me to 'feel' the muscle strain more now. I am naturally a fast-paced person, so at times I forgot that I am supposed to slow down, and my uterus will feel contracted and because it hurts I can barely walk. In the end I am forced to walk really really REALLY slowly...

So my gynae have already mentioned that by the next appt she will be doing a V-jay jay check to see the cervix opening. My least fav part of any medical checkup! Mainly because it is kind of embarrassing to have people looking down there..haha..and also because it is uncomfortable to have doctors/nurses poking here and there inside..erk..

So, who wanna make a guess whether baby's gonna make appearance in May or June?
No prize for the correct answer yeah! ;)

My birthday wasn't exactly THE best this year..
Except for the fact my hubby totally surprised me with my fav flowers,
A bouquet of BLUE ROSES!! *Mad Love*

Everything else was sort of a disappointment
I didn't want to think too much about it,
but I guess being pregnant and hormonal kind of escalates the sadness and disappointment I felt..
Hubby was also feeling disappointed because of what happened, so you can imagine I felt even worse as I am the so-called victim *drama-much*
Cried so much, had a major breakdown!! Seriously sobbing like there's no tomorrow..:(
Hubby had to cradle and rock me softly in his effort to console me, yes the whole 61kg me! :'(

In the end,
I told myself, there's no one else for me except my husband and our own little family..

So much for the memorable last birthday before I become a mommy! (-_-')

Last Birthday as just ME

I am going to be 28 years old tomorrow.

28 is a big deal!
Ever since my 25th birthday, I find it hard to really remember what age I am at, at present..
Serious! Not bluffing!
If someone ask me how old I am, It would take me a few seconds to remember..
Nyehehe..

Now I will be 28..
What have I achieved?
Plenty, Alhamdullillah..
Some still unachieved..

People say, always count your blessings..
Well,
I am a Degree holder,
I am married to a wonderful man,
We have our own house,
We have a car,
We have our own little 'business',
I am working at a place where it is related to my degree,
I am pregnant,
I will become a mother, real soon, I'Allah..

Syukur Alhamdulillah for all these Dear Allah..

There's definitely more that I want to achieve in future.
From when I was younger,
I have this one particular dream..

For now, only my dad and husband know about it.
but, it is not achievable at the moment..
I know it is not easy,

I pray to Allah that He will grant this wish of mine soon..
Amiin.

Another important point of this entry is,
IT IS MY LAST BIRTHDAY BEFORE I BECOME A MOMMY!!
I want to savour every moment of it..each and every single bit of it..
May tomorrow and the rest of MY April (yeah! I own the month of April ;p) be the best April ever!

Burdah

Husband introduced me to Selawat Burdah
and now I cant stop listening to it..

Hubby would read it to me at night when I cant sleep
while slowly stroking my tummy to calm our active lil boy..=)

Sharing it here, so that everyone can benefit from it. =)



Mawlaya salli wa sallim da’iman abada
'Ala habibika khayril khalqi kullihimi

 Muhammadun sayyidul kawnayni wath thaqalayn
Wal fariqayni min 'urbin wa min 'ajami

Huwal habibul ladhi turja shafa'atuhu
Likulli hawlin minal ahwali muqtahami

Chorus

Thummar ridha 'an Abi Bakrin wa 'an 'Umarin
Wa 'an 'Aliyyin wa 'an 'Uthmana dhil karami

 Chorus

Ya rabbi bil Mustafa balligh maqasidana
Waghfir lana ma ma\a ya wasi'al karami

A Step Forward - Seventh Episode

Alhamdulillah!
We have moved a step forward in photography.
We've gotten our desired studio lighting and stuff.

And what best way to officiate the Seventh Episode Studio?
By having my very own Maternity Photoshoot!
Also, what best date to do it?
1st of April! My fav month!

If you're already in my FB Friend's list, you'll be able to see the photos.
If you're not, Im gonna share a few of my fav shots of the day and some stories behind the scene etc..
So, clap your hands now! *clap clap* =)

I wasnt exactly in the mood for a photoshoot, since my ribs was aching horribly
and all I wanted to do was to lie down..
But seeing how hubby was so eager about it, I told myself to suck it in and brave through the shoot.

Im glad I did because the shoot took a turn to be one memorable night for me!

Here are my Fav shots!

1) This picture will be the very first picture in Lil 'A photo Album! It speaks a thousand words. Its just, US. Hubby, Me and Our Baby =)














2) I chose to pose like this because nak-feeling-berada-di-awang-awangan. Looking forward to a future together with Lil 'A in our lives gitu..;)

3) This is my fav because looking at the 1st picture, it feels like hubby is feeling serene and waiting for Lil 'A to kick. Then comes in the 2nd pic as if saying "EH!!! He's Kicking!!! waaaah!" LOL!

4) I didnt realise my face have become 'swollen' from pregnancy until I saw this picture. I dont think I've ever had this 'tembam-ness' before. haha..

5) I didnt know why out of the blue, I burst out laughing. REALLY laughing, the BWAHAHAHAHAHA kind of laughter. Somehow in the midst of the shoot, I find it funny that we're both posing here and there and wondering if the composition of the picture is correct cos we cant see the result until the pictures taken. I truly lost it here at this moment and cannot stop laughing. While I was laughing like a mad women, hubby took the opportunity of pressing the shutter as much as he can. Sempat lagiiii! :p















Looking forward to more studio shoots!

If you're interested,
You know where to contact me yah! =)

Wierd Pregnancy Habits

Already in my 3rd trimester.
Things are going at fast speed.
The reason why I want to quickly give birth is:

1) I get to finally see our Lil 'A
2) I get to be a SAHM, albeit temporarily..(kalau tak balik keje terus pun tkpe sebenarnya).

At this stage, I realise I have a few pregnancy quirks.
Wierd stuff that never happened before or maybe the urge was not as strong as now.

I'll name a few for memory's sake.

1) I like a particular 'musty', 'woody', 'gluey' kind of smell. I dont know what to specifically call this smell, so I named it 'Bau Kapok'. I have always liked these smells, BUT now, its uncontrollable. Some example of the things I will smell obsessively are, the aircon in our car, shoes boxes, our storeroom (heck, I almost want to sleep in the storeroom!), etc. Only I can tell whether a smell is that 'Bau kapok' or not and if it is, I will go crazy beyond words!

Each time we get into our car, I will feel super happy because I get to smell the aircon. I will go to the extent of putting my nose exactly at the aircon and start smelling as if I've just discovered the wonders that a nose can do. I will sniff ever so deeply and so much so that my husband will have to stop me. I am an addict, seriously!

I feel so relaxed with these smells. I told my husband, "I LOVE the smell so much that I might just decide to give birth in the car so that I can be relaxed. I might not need any other pain relieve. ;)

2) I've a new found love for the colour PURPLE! I look at anything purple and will go, "awww~~sucha pretty colour!" I think I have been wearing purple most of the time ever since I got pregnant. Since hubby and I wear matching colours most of the time we go out, he had to wear purple too..lucky he's got several of  them in his wardrobe! haha.

I've never felt this way towards purple before. I liked purple so much now, I even downloaded the popular Barney song, "I love you~~~~You love me~~~We're a happy famileeee~~~lalala lalala~~~" and made it my dedicated ringtone for hubby! nyehehehe..The colour will be our theme for 'Eid this year! This must be Lil 'A favourite colour..;)

3) Lil 'A ni berselera Italian! (beauty of pregnancy #1324113, you can blame it all on the baby ;p) I've been craving for Pasta. Its pasta here, pasta there. My hubby is not much of a pasta fan. He initially went with it. But after several times I kept asking for Pastamania, I can see the look of horror on hubby's face! LOL! Kesian dia, Love you sayang!

So at times, I cooked pasta myself. Pasta goreng lah, Spaghetti lah. Lucky also there's Spize at Bedok, so we went there and I can have my Pasta fix and him, whatever he wants other than Pasta of course! ;)

So kalau tanya saya nk makan apa, my answer will be "nak something Pasta-ish" =)

4) This last wierd habit is definitely a costly one, IF I lost my teeth! haha. I enjoy chewing ice cubes! I kept going to the kitchen, open the freezer door, take an ice cube and happily chew on it. The satisfaction I tell you, is MAJOR!! I just cannot help myself. Im supposed to restrain myself from taking too much cold stuff, for whatever health reason, but I really really just cant help it!

Each time we eat out, I'll bite on the Ice cubes we get whenever we ordered drinks. Bestnyaaaaa, nikmatnyaaaa Ya Allah! Im craving for it now, really badly, but Im at work, so Im gonna gobble on ice cubes once I get home! gaaah! quick lah 6 O'clock!

I must learn to control myself. I do not want to have to welcome Lil 'A into this world with no teeth! (o_0)

I do have some other cravings like sweet stuff, but I guess it is normal for pregnant women to want sweet stuff. The above are those really wierd stuff that Im into these days.

Aaaaah~~I can imagine the smell of the aircon from our car!

=)

The Worrier

I am 97 days away from THE day.

I have constantly been worried over a lot of things..
There's a million and one things in my mind that thinking alone makes me want to cry..
I cry over the smallest of things...Super sensitive I tell you...

Lately I have been freaking out on giving birth..
As I have mentioned before, I am scared of pain..
And the reality of giving birth is that IT IS PAINFUL..

I really dont know how am I going to do it.
Talked to many people, read up a lot..and there's so many opinions and stories
that I feel overwhelmed.

I stumbled over some positive quotes and sayings
and it would make me feel better, but for a while and then I 'll start to panic again..
I am sorry for my husband having to hear me whine again and again about me being scared..

But I do have to give him credit for being patient with me..
I know I have been such a big baby ever since I got pregnant,
and he have been listening to me, coaxing me, hugged me when Im in need and wiping my tears away..

Yesterday, we were just sitting at the living room, relaxing..
Me as usual rambling about my worries..
And suddenly hubby said, "I strongly believe you can do it even without epidural. The Nurul I've known is such a patient person, and with the perseverance level that I know you have, I have faith you can go through it easily."

I choked with tears at this statement.
How can someone else have that much confidence in me, when I dont even think I have any..:'(

Before I go to sleep, he kissed my forehead and said "Believe in yourself, my dear"

Right there and then I know I want nobody else with me when Im going through the 'jihad' of labour but my husband.
He really is my pillar of strength.

I know for the rest of my 97 days, I will on and off have my moments of panic and worry and I'll start all over again whining and rambling about my fear...but with his constant motivation and belief in me, I know I will be able to go through it. Pain or not, it will be worthwhile, I'Allah.

Note for Self

Its been a busy day today at work, although it is only half day.
Im squeezing sometime to blog, to let loose and to release steam!

Not feeling great today..
Nothing to do with Monday Blues, but it's just a nagging feeling inside that I just dont know how to put words to.

Well nevermind,
my weekend was good.
Had a great deal of tasks from my things to do list, DONE!
Alhamdulillah!
Yay!

Went to the baby fair, although I found it to be a bit boring..Maybe because I bought some baby stuff last week already..
Got some household chores done with the help of dearest hubby...(Thank you sayang!)
and the BEST BEST BESTEST part of my weekend was............

...
.....
......
.........
..............


Ladies and Gentleman,
please give a round of applause to my newest baby gadget....
THE Samsung Galaxy Note!!!

Wheeee~~~~


Im Super happy with this phone.
Change it together with hubby and both of us just cannot stop touching and fiddling with the phone..
Serious best laaah...

Im glad I got rid of my iPhone 4..
Trust me, Apples are meant to be eaten, not to be used as a phone..:p

So there!
Feeling a bit better now..

Have a good day ahead!

25 Weeks

25 weeks.

I am about 15 weeks away from labour!
Went for our routine gynae checkup yesterday and all was well.

Glad that Lil 'A is growing healthily and steadily.

He is now moving a lot more frequently and also stronger.
I can feel his kicks almost all the time,
every little movement makes me smile..
I think it is cute that there's a little boy in my tummy and the little thing that he does is as if he is reminding us of his presence.

I have been dreaming about little babies more frequently too.
Im starting to feel eager to meet my little one.

Another cute experience is whenever hubby decides to talk to Lil 'A and he literally puts his mouth on my tummy and talk!
it makes me laugh and laugh till tears roll because its so ticklish! :)

Aaah...so THIS is LOVE...

I Love both my boys <3

Whats in it

Read Mary's blog on what is in her overloaded makeup bag. :p

Thought I could do the same too.
Just for fun!
Im not much of a makeup junkie, but I do feel it is important to at least look presentable at all time. 

Well, I have 2 different sets for work and for going out on weekends or occasions. We'll just take a look at what I bring in my bag daily for work.Here goes:

1) The bag I got free from buying the Burberry Body fragrance. I thought it is quite nice and handy for makeups. This is the bag I bring with me daily everywhere I go, in case I need to touch up. You never know if you need to meet up some important people at work or had a last minute surprise date with hubby. So MUST touch up! :) 

2) This is my first Brown coloured mascara. It has 2 steps to it. 1st is just a simple brush for simple lengthening of lashes. The 2nd step is a thicker brush for volumnising. This has got to be my favourite mascara so far. Because it is brown so it looks more natural and that the effect really does show.

I got it at my company's internal sale, which they organise occasionally. Bought it at $4 ONLY! I love internal sale! Such a steal! Im not sure where to get this elsewhere in SG. Anybody knows?

3) Im using Maybelline Clear Smooth Extra powder. It's texture is of course smooth and it feels light on the skin too. Perfect for daily wear. Easy to wash off also!

4) For some healthy glow, I got myself this small but handy blusher by Maybelline. I use it sparingly and occasionally if there's an important meeting with the management or meet up with friends or hubby after work. Otherwise, I just skip this part.. hee..

5) Now this, is my favourite eyeliner since school days. It is really dark, I love how it gives the mystical look to my peepers..cheyyy.. and it is inexpensive too! you can find this almost everywhere at Arab st. I use this occasionally too. For when I want to look extra mysterious or nak-step-Arab-looking! lol!

6) I have several lipsticks, Clinique, MAC etc..But for work, I stick to this Lip Ice Mentholatum. Its a lip Balm and it makes my lips look kissable healthy!

7) I do housework. Not to brag, but I do! *senyum nampak gigi sebaris* So my hands tend to feel rough all the time. Sometimes too rough. :( So i always have a hand lotion in my bag. Bought this at a shop at Kallang Leisure Park, cant remember the name though. But it's got a nice smell.

I have several other lotions that I keep within reach at home, next to my bed, on my office desk, in  the car's dashboard. That's how obsessed I am with hand lotion! heh!

So there, my daily makeup bag! :)

Our Little Knight!

It was finally revealed!

Lil 'A decided to show Abah and Ummi that Lil 'A will be
our little Knight!

We were elated, Alhamdulillah!
My husband was happy, he wanted a boy, especially for a first child.
He constantly prayed for a son, (even before I got pregnant!) several times each day specifically asked Allah for a son.
He believed in his Dua so much so that, when I finally got pregnant, he said read or listen to Surah Yusuf.
When asked what if the baby is a girl, and that we should also recite surah Maryam in case its a girl,
his answer was simple, Believe. Have Faith.

And so, believe I did. As days goes by, the feeling that we will be getting a boy felt real, it felt true.
I even dreamt of playing with a little baby boy.

Alhamdulillah!
Allah IS Great! :')

I pray that Lil 'A will grow up as a strong believer in his Faith and in whatever he strive to succeed in. Amin! :)

2012 will change OUR lives..forever

So...It's 2012 already huh?

Time really flies! Cliche, I know, but one cant deny..

2012 is definitely going to be one eventful year for me,
with many milestones to remember.

I know for sure, It will be a year where I will have to overcome my biggest fear ever,
PAIN!

I will be 5 months along next week,
and yes I have been whining about pain, nausea and everything that comes under the sun ever since I got pregnant.

I am grateful that I got the chance to experience what every married woman wants to experience. I fully understand the package that comes with pregnancy.

It's just that when I am feeling discomfort and pain, I want to say it out, which sometime sounds whiny..heehee..I hope that by saying or tweeting it out will help ease off the discomfort. Sharing is caring whaaat...:p

I still cant believe that I will be giving birth this year! ya Allah! betul ke nie..Mcm seram je..heh..

The moment, I get into labor, THATS when my life or shall I say OUR lives will change forever...2012 will be THE MOST MEMORABLE year of my life so far.

2012 started off with me being able to feel my baby's movements. It feels like a fluttering of something inside. When I tried to touch my tummy where Im feeling it, there's nothing. I guess this is the special moment where I am the ONLY person who can feel my child. :')

At times I felt a sudden tightness on certain part of my tummy, and it felt really hard when touched. Told my hubby and when we gently rubbed the hard part of the tummy, it moved away..and we instantly knew that its our baby! :') Hubby was of course in awe, that was his first time ever..:')

As of now, I will feel my baby move everyday, a few times a day and feel like he is communicating with me, telling me, "Ummi, Im here okay...talk to me pweeashe!" hihi..

I am hoping to feel more stronger kicks in future so that hubby can get to experience it too..:)

aaaah....2012.....:)