Monday, September 26, 2011

Nothing good to say? So ZIP it!

"Jangan kamu bertanya/berkata sesuatu yang boleh memberatkan/membebankan perasaan orang yang ditanya"
(translation: Do not ask/say unto others whatever that may cause them to feel heavy-hearted/disturbed)

Recently, I've been asked a few questions that in my personal opinion, SHOULD be banned. At times, I'm caught off-guard with these questions. I dont know whether the person asking is purely innocently asking out of concern or are they just dumb.

I've listed below some questions I've been asked:

1) Before I was married, "Eh, bila kau punya turn?" (when's you turn?)

2) After I got Married, "Bila nak ada baby??" (when are you going to have a baby?)

And since, I do not have any child yet, I frequently get these questions:

3) Da berapa lama kahwin, kenapa takde anak lagi?? (you've been married for sometime already, why no baby yet?) - Remind me again how long have I been married? 10? 20 years? Major DUH!

4) Da ada isi belom? (Got anything in you tum-tum already?) - Yah! got Sh** inside! LOL!

5) Kau ni lambat betullah (nak ada anak)! (you took so long to get pregnant and have a baby!) - Eh! dengar2 baby boleh beli je kat kedai?

6) Bila nak tambah umat Muhammad, jangan tgg lama2 nanti kena soal dekat akhirat (When are you going to increase Muhammad's ummah, Dont wait too long, you will be questioned  later at the Akhirah) - and...who are you, again sir?

and the very recent one I got is,
7) Tinggal rumah sendiri berdua je? tak sunyi ke? (you're staying at your own house just the two of you? dont you feel lonely?) - *insert thunder storm and lightning sound*

Initially I find it annoying when we were always asked these sort of questions. After a while, we thought, the best answer would be to say "I'Allah, sedang diusahakan. Awak doakan kami ye" (I'Allah, we're trying, pray for us okay)

What better way to answer that than to ask people to pray for us ain it? at least when the Malaikats Amin, who knows Allah will grant their doas.

But recently, I find the questions that people asked to be more and more.....STUPID?

Question No. 7 really stumped me. WHY on earth would we feel lonely when we are 2 people in love, who chose to marry each other and live with each other? I mean, what are marriages between 2 people for if you want to be with each other and feel lonely?? right? no?

Maybe I took the question the wrong way or something. Maybe I was too sensitive. Relax ah people, apa mau kanchiong. Kita berusaha, Tuhan menentukan. Kalau ada rezeki, I'Allah akan ada.

Which is why I remembered the quotes above, which I heard from Irsyad Radio during Ramadhan. We really should be careful to whom we ask a certain question, especially if we are not that close with the person we are asking the questions to and in which situation. We never know if we might end up hurting others, or make them feel sad unnecessarily.

At least I know I was okay thought-wise until some people decides to ask these type of questions and then I start to feel disturbed. Moreover if they ask questions with a certain sinister tones like "I have a child and you dont? haha."

So people, lets learn from now to be more mindful of our questions k.


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