Puzzling Me

Doesnt it amaze you that at times you just cannot understand yourself?
It does for me.

The things that I want, the way that I behave and feel
are at times puzzling..

I may want one thing, and within minutes or even seconds,
I may not want it at all..

I may be laughing and talking non-stop
and out of the blue, I will cry..I might even just shut myself from the outside world..

I may feel happy or just normal and contented,
the next minute I will feel hatred towards a lot of things..
really, like hate hate..

Now, can you explain that to yours truly?

Say it LOUD AND CLEAR!

Why is Monday always associated with the colour blue?

Monday Blues.
This thing is psychological..
Truth is, nothing is wrong with Monday..
Its us..

Yes,
including me..
I am guilty of faulting Monday for all nonsense that happen throughout the day..
oops!

I am putting this in words so that I can read back
and laugh at myself for being so silly..

I am not feeling good..
Those upbeat feeling..adrenalin rush..the force that comes from within that makes me just want to go, go and keep going..
I need those feeling...

So come on people!
Gimme some love...
Give yourselves some love...

Stand up and say "I am HAPPY"
Say it LOUD!
Say it LOUD AND CLEAR!
Say it until you feel it in you..:)

Hope I've helped brighten up your Monday! ;)



P/S: Dear...come let go swimming today...=)

13th October 2010
My Prince Charming turned 27






























Hope you had a great time yesterday
I Love You Honey :)

Holloween Scare-fari!

Im Excited!
Hubby's bringing me here this weekend.

Im scared but excited.
The excitement is making me wish for Saturday to come fast.
Im Scared, Curious and Excited!



What else can I say?
Im Excited!
haha!

Im Just Quiet

Who am I?
What is my personality?

I've been questioned endlessly nowadays about the way I behave..
They're concerned whether Im feeling lonely or left out..

Well,
truth is,
That is me..
I am naturally a quiet person..
I dont just talk to people..
I am reserve and withdrawn, especially when I meet new people..
I dont initiate conversation..
I talk when people talk to me..
I keep to myself most of the time..
Im not the funny girl among my friends..

I am mostly an observer and a listener..
I dont like to complain much..
I dont comment much on things..
I dont go around expressing my feelings loudly..
That is why I have my blog and twitter account..

Only very few people have seen the crazy side of me..
Very few..

Dont feel bad because I am quiet
because I like it that way..

Im quiet..Just quiet..

I was at peace with myself,
until now...
These talk about me being too quiet
is making me feel confused about myself..

I know I cant go on being quiet now..
I have to open up more..
Be known and exposed..
extroverted..funny..expressive..
so they said...

I'll try..

Im quiet..Just quiet..

God help ease my path..
Amiin..

Eat.Pray.Love

I am looking for this book.

Libraries are taking too long for me to wait.

Anybody wants to borrow or GIVE it to me..;)

hehe...

I want to read this badly.

So malas to go Borders.

If I go I'll end up buying not one but a few more books.

How??

Navigating

Prince Charming's birthday is coming soon.
As usual, I have been thinking of what to get him since his last birthday.
Im very bad in terms of getting gifts for a boys/men.
Also, Im not very good with surprises, more often than not, my surprise plan got busted wayyy before it's supposed to.

*sigh*

So I decided to go frank.
I told dear whatever I plan to give him.
heh.

This year, there were 2 prospective gifts.
Its either a PS3 or a GPS.

PS3 - I know he will love it, but its just a gift for his leisure. (also, when he started playing games, I might as well speak to the four walls...:p)
GPS- I knew this was a better idea. Its such a practical gift, since we are almost always on the road, with our plans to go Malaysia on a regular basis.

I did my homework and fell in love with Garmin Nuvi 3790. What makes me fell even deeper was the fact that its got bluetooth speaker for phone calls on the go!

Dear always have trouble with the handphone speakers and it was a hassle to put on an earpiece while driving. He hates it to the core.

The Garmin Nuvi 3790 also has got a voice activation control. It instantly recognises your command. For example:

There will be a menu of things for you to choose from. Let say you want the gps to start navigating and directing you to your home. We set our home to the 'Favourite list'

Dear said: Favourite.
GPS prompted: a list of favourite places.
Dear said: Home.
GPS prompted: Do you want to navigate now?
Dear said: Yes.

..and the gps starts to navigate to Punggol, our Home! how cool!

We tested this yesterday and were clapping our hands in awe. haha!

The device to me is really good. And Garmin GPS system is known internationally. So yah, I guess that was a good buy.

Dear looks happy with it. I hope that it is really useful for him. :)

So people, if anyone is looking for a good GPS devise, I personally think that the Garmin Nuvi 3790 is a good buy.

Hope I can put up a video of how good the navigation via voice command is.

As for now,
toodles darls!

Earning IT

Its almost coming to an end..
In a week's time, my probation will end..
I am not feeling great, I am worried..
Due to the incident with my previous job,
I just cannot stop worrying..

I have been learning a lot and worked hard to make sure
I earn my confirmation letter here..

I tried,
All that is left for me to do is pray..

Allah knows best,
So Im just trying my best not to focus too much on worrying..
Instead, I should make the most out of my last 7 days of probation..
If I get the letter, I earned it with Allah's will..Alhamdulillah..
If I dont, at least I have learnt a lot and now better understands the process
to a good looking and readable magazine, and that its time to move on..
(although I fret moving on, if this happens, coz moving on is HARD)

I am at work now,
it is lunch time, I am fasting (puasa 6)
Missed the 6 fasting days last year,
determined to get it this year, hopefully..

I am a weak human being,
Always forgetting to thank Allah for all the beautiful and wonderful things he gave in life..
Must be the laziness in me..Thus, I told myself I must try to fast for these 6 days, at least..
And then, comes the other 11 days pay back fasting time!

If I can fast for 30 days (actually 19 minus the 11),
the whats 11 days, right??
You can do it Khasanah!
Chaiyok!

hmm..

Thats all for now,
Toodles darls!

'Eid Mubarak

Hello dearies..

Its almost a week of 'Eid.

Time flies..a lot have changed..

Every single day is a new day,

to learn, to forgive and to love..

On this joyous occasion, blessed month,

My husband and I would like to wish all Muslims out there

a Happy 'Eid..

'Eid Mubarak,

Kullu 'am wa antum Bikhair..:)

Back To My Roots

I am feeling so guilty for ditching this dearest space of mine.
I thought of blogging via tumblr, created an acct,
BUT nothing can ever be the same as this secretdoor.

I have a sentimental feeling towards ither.
I put in so much effort to make her pretty and very much personalised and then I go and ditch her.
I am so so bad.

No matter what happen, no matter how long it will be,
this secretdoor will always be a place where I will return to.

So friends,
you can always find me here. :)

I love YOU secretdoor. <3

Today

Today,
I woke up at 4am to cook lunch for my dear husband..

Today,
Is the day my husband is unwell..

Today,
Is the day my mind is TOTALLY absent from my body..

Today,
Is the day my husband called me at 11am+ realising I did not switch
off the fire from the stove!!!! :s (luckily, the fire is a small one,
and the food is still edible and warm)

Today,
I feel guilty as hell because of what happened..(from 5am all the way
til 11am+?? really? Khasanah??)

Today,
I almost cause a colleague to scream for my absent mindedness..

Today,
I had to stand outside the door and wait for somebody to open it for
me because i forgot to bring my staff pass..

Today,
I feel like going somewhere and scream, "WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO
YOU KHASANAH!"

So that's my Today for you..

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Sneaking Spicy Umian

I miss eating my fav Banquet Spicy Umian! (read: with lotsa cili padi!)

I use to eat it EVERYDAY after work.

Still remember how I used to go Banquet and tapau-ed my Umian. I would
sneak it into my room because i didnt want to share (yes, im selfish
like that when it comes to this fav food of mine :p), and then go to
the kitchen to take a big bowl, a spoon and fork and happily eat the
heavenly Spicy Umian while watching my fav chinese drama on channel 8.
So shiok! ;)

ALL these in my room. Aaah~~ the perks of having your own room!

The best thing is, nobody in my family knew I did all that everyday
after work..hehehe..

Maybe they were thinking that I must be very tired at work and badly
needed a rest..;)

Now, I cant do that anymore because I share a room with my hubby. It
would be a funny sight if I sneak Spicy Umian in our room, and if my
hubby walk in..kantoi lah beb! Later, he also want, how? Hahaha...:p

I am so craving for it now..I dont mind eating it everyday again...and
of course with lotsa cili padi! :)

Oh my Spicy Umian~~ :)

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Words are not enough

Today, was my first day at work..
A new day, a new job and a brand new age for me...

I was a little intimidated with the whole place..everything seemed so
much bigger.. The place, the workload, the number of people..

After a while of orientation by my seniors, thank God I felt relaxed
and was able to see the bigger picture..

The seniors were very friendly and helpful..

Initially, i had my worries about my prayer time at work..i still
remember when i had to pray at staircase landings before..

So i decided to ask a muslim colleague..and to my surprise, he said
there's a musolla dedicated for muslim employees..i wanted to cry out
of joy there and then...

First, God answered my prayers and gave me the job i dreamed of..and
then, he provided prayer room..so that i should always remember His
gift and be thankful of it...

What added on to my joy is that there is a shuttle bus to and from the
building to Alj MRT and Potong Pasir NEL..so its very convenient..

I am very very thankful to Allah, that words alone cannot describe my
sense of gratitute..

This is the Best birthday present that Allah Almighty bestowed upon me..

Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah...

Shall update again later lovelies, im off for my birthday dinner!

Toodles!

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New life

I have got a job.

You can call it a dream job.

Im just wondering what will my first day be like..
Im excited at the same time nervous..
Its gonna be my first time working in a 'real' organisation..

Never been in one before..
I am tired of looking for a new job everytime..

I just want to do my job well and get what i am supposed to get in due
time..

I really do not want to feel cheated again...

Last Friday was such a big blow to me..didnt expect things to turn out
like that..

Whatever it is, i am moving on..

Here's to a better life ahead,
CHEERS!

Alhamdulillah..:)

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the ones I will miss

When one leaves a work place for good,

there will definitely be something that one will miss about it.

In my case,

I will miss my 2 sweetest colleagues..

Ever since I graduated,

They are the FIRST female colleagues I've ever had..

People say female colleagues can be very bitchy at times..

But thats not the case for these 2 girls..

When times are bad in the office and when things get crappy,

They brighten up my day..

Hello everybody,

Meet Yatee and Junn..

Junn was a writer in the company..

She made my days in the office brighter with her laughter..

LOUD laughter and infectious too..:)

She loves Belle from Beauty and the Beast,

and she often spilled coffee on the carpet, on her dress, on the table, anywhere..

hihihi...;)

Yatee is the designer..

She is my Ice cream buddy..

when we feel like indulging in a sinfully delicious rich ice cream after a full meal,

we will go to the ice cream cafe downstairs..

She's also my 'bekal' partner..

Most of the time she brought lunch from home,

now that Im leaving, her new partner will be the new guy in the block, Wady..

hihihi...

When these 2 ladies are put together in one office,

they instantly brightens up everyone's day..

They are also 2 of the most generous people

I've known..

Sometimes when I reach office in the morning,

there will be chocolates, curry puffs and lots of other goodies on my table..

Memang rezeki melimpah..

May Allah bless them with more rezeki always..

Amiin..:)

Thats why I said,

I will definitely miss them both!

Eager to scream

Oh yeah...

Today's the day..My last day with this company..

Despite the downside of my experiences here, I cannot deny the fact that I had my fair share of good times too..

The highlight of it all, was when I finally get to meet CT!

Now, its time to close one chapter and open a new one..

I pray that this new chapter will be a better one and there will be no scary episodes in it..

Please....

I must also remember my promises to Him Almighty..

For a last day,

I am VERY early for work..

I have organised every files and folders so that it is easy for my replacement later..

(am I good or whaaat??)

and,

I really cant wait for this day to end...!

Eager to scream "IM FREE!!" at 6 o' clock today..

P/S: feeling slightly down...hmm..

P/s/s: my sweet colleague just gave me my FAV choc bars! nak cry leh..huhu..

What A Monday

What a Monday!

First,

I got busted for being late to work..

All due to some "unforeseen" circumstances..:p

Im so going to go to work early tomorrow..

And then, another client postponed their ad,

hence, not helping my already little revenue...:s

Yeah,

I think that it is a sign for me to leave..

I've got 11 or 12 more days before I say goodbye..

I'd like to appreciate every last moments I have here..

The good ones that is..

Cant wait for a new life..=)

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah jalan hambaMu ini..

Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Memahami..

Amiin..

Once in a lifetime

Today, I just want to remember the best thing that happened recently,

that made me feel over the moon...

THE day I met my idol,

D*ato' S*iti N*ur H*aliza..

Met her at the R*oyal P*laza On S*cotts Hotel..

It was the Press Conference for S*uria Elektra..

God knows how I felt at that point of time...

hihi..

let the pictures do the talking aite? ;)

I'll remember this, forever..=)

DREAMS can wait long long (NOT!)

"sometimes its not that we want to be choosy, but we have important things to factor in thus we request a certain expectation..but people dont know that..and when we give in and follow suit, we face with hardship in life..who wants hardship? nobody..*confuse soul*"

That, is my current FB status. I am in a state of confusion.

I might be jobless starting April.

I've been looking around for a new job for so long..So so long..

All I wanted is for people to appreciate me..I work I commit..

but why did I always end up feeling cheated.

Who says $ is not important?

Dare you say that to my face and I'll knock you down with my smelly socks..

Without $ I can never achieve dreams..

Dreams of studying, dream of making my parents and parents in-law happy, dreams of making it big with my passion in photography, dreams of traveling to the places I dream of going before I die, dreams of having a child and to care and nurture him/her to the very best...

DREAMS...

How do we ever achieve them without $..?

I took my bachelors not without $ problems..

I troubled my parents (and aunt, God bless them all) enough to make sure I graduated..

All these is with a LOT of $..

Now, when I wanted to get a job, that pays well,

people just dont appreciate..

(dengar2 dulu belajar FREE)

They give a measly $ and demand that a 3 to 5 person tasks to be done in a day, by 1 person..

They can even toy around with my $, and claimed that the company is not making $..

hmm..

should that be the case?

Im getting more and more scared to get a new job because Im scared I might land one that is no different from the others..

really...

Now, I've 4 interviews..

1 shift work and 3 9to5..

I dont know whether to accept the shift job, should they offer me..

Time is the big factor..

the other 3, is normal working hours..

Should they accept me,

I pray I will get a $ that is reasonable..

If not, my DREAMS shall wait long long...

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