Excuse Me

Please excuse me,
I NEED to scream.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ya Allah,
Forgive me for not being strong..

I need Your help,
Without which,
I am incapable..

Ada Masa Mata

This new song by Siti Nurhaliza,
touched my heart..
The lyric is meaningful..

"kadang-kala orang menilai secara dasar..
dan lupa nak mengenali hati budi orang yang lain"

ADA MASA MASA
BUKAN DENGAN MATA
NAK MENILAI RUPA
MANA CANTIK, MOLEK DAN MANIS
TETAPI ITU KERJA HATI
MELIHAT DARI PEKERTI

ADA MASA MASA
DARI SISI SAMA
MASIH TETAP JUA
PANDANGAN BOLEH BERBEZA
ASALKAN SAJA DI HATI
SUDI CUBA MEMAHAMI

ADA MASA MATA
ADA SAHAJA
ADA YANG TIDAKLAH KENA
CEREWET MENCARI SEMPURNA
TERLUPA APA BERHARGA

ADA MASA MATA
ADA KETIKA
TAK TERLIHAT CELA
KERANA HATI SUDAH SUKA
SEPERTI JUGA AKU
BILA MENGENALI DIRIMU

JANGAN KUNCI
PINTU HATI
LEPAS PANDANG
SEBALIK DIRI
BILA INDAH TELAH PUDAR
ATAS APA KITA BERDIRI

I am FREAKIN ANGRY

People who know me personally would say
Im not the angry type of person..
Even if Im a victim, I would still take my time to think,
whether I should scream at people that annoy me or not..

Most of the time,
I would just let it go and just imagine I scream vulgarities at them
and do something terrible to them in my head...

So far,
NO ONE in this world has caused me to want to do
other than that..

BUT!

This one particular person...
A girl...
Whom my mother fondly titled her as 'anjing gila'...

This girl has been in the picture ever since me and my brothers
were still in secondary school....
(that was around the year 2000)

The whole family tried not to judge her...
But time and time again,
she proved us wrong..

She caused our family to fall apart like crazy....
She bad-mouthed people..
She makes 'drama' just to get attention..
She shouted vulgarities at BOTH MY PARENTS!!!
She shouted vulgarities at HER PARENTS!!
She freakin' smokes ciggies..
She talks rude..
She influenced our in-laws by badmouthing us...
and many other BAD BAD characteristics....

(I tried to be kind and look at her good side instead, but she's gone too far that I simply CANNOT look at her good side!)


All that and she can freakin' ask people
'why people dont like me??'

Whatda??!!!!

Since she cant be changed and does not want to change,
My family just cant be bothered with her...

But yesterday,
She did it again..
she just somehow manage to irritate people with
her nonsensical behaviour!

She went to my aunt's house!

My aunt doesnt even know her!!!
and was startled to find a crying girl
at her doorstep...

Begging to meet my brother,
and saying she wants to kill herself..

You want to kill yourself,
so??
Go and freakin kill yourself lah..
None of our business!!

Good then!
That's one crazy person down..
The world does not need a person as outrageous as you!!

Its all for attention..
No one in the world who wants to kill themselves,
would tell people that...

they would just go and DIE lah!

STUPID!


My aunt had no choice but
to get her in the house and let her tell
her 'pitiful' story...


What a shameless person!
pegi rumah sedara mara orang
and then bukak pekong sendiri??

Dasar perempuan tak tau malu...!!


Even with all these nonsense,
I've always reserved a thought that maybe she's not that bad...


BUT!!!!!
until one particular Ramadhan..

She kept calling my house...
When I finally had enough,
I answered and told her that its maghrib, and
that as a girl she should be ashamed to be calling
and annoying people like that...

And guess what??

She smsed my dad
to freakin tell him 'to watch his daughter's mouth'!!!

Whatda!!!??
Who the hell is she to tell my dad to do that???
Mother Bugger you!!!

Now,
you tell me perempuan jenis apa tu??

is it her or is it just me??

From that day onwards,
I shut all reservations with regards to her good characters!


Any sane person in this world would NOT want to be friends
or entertain her nonsense...!

What can I say,
She's desperate!

I personally believe,
Akhlak dan peribadi seorang wanita tu harus dijaga..

I believe,
that a person CAN change from vices to virtues..
But,
Kalau rasa kesedaran, humility and malu tu dah takde langsung,
ginilah jadinya...



Sidenote: This is me being VERY ANGRY. The very seldom emotion has come.

Just an update after so long....

I have been very lazy updating my blog.
Pardon me, but every single time I thought of blogging,
I felt like gagging..

OK, I'm just saying that just cause it rhymes..
DRAAAG!
:p


The house is still under renovation..
I'd say its 80% done...
Hope it'll be 90% by the end of this week
and all done up by end of next week..

Its really squeezing the juices out of me, this whole renovation thingy..
Every end of the day made me feel too tired to do anything else...
We are like tourist in our own country...
Staying from one hotel to another, one chalet to another and one relative to another...

The part I hated most is the packing and unpacking of stuff..
Mind you, I have my facial wash set, my tons of clothes (I work Mon to Sun),
my basic make-up necessities, my personal toiletries, etc...

I'm a girl, I have lots of stuff, you know...

So every time we move, I have to lug this hee-yuge luggage
around..

I just hope at the end of all this,
Its all worth it!

I can see my house my parents' house
starting to look all modern and chic...
ahakz...

and I requested my room to be painted in two shades of PINK!!
yay!


Oh btw,
I have officially closed my friendster account!

I've been meaning to do it since many many moons ago...
I don't know what held me back...
But anyway, I did it!
and it felt good! =)


and oh,
A happy belated new year to all of you!

I refuse to have any resolutions..
Cause it all never really came true...

Im just going to focus on the plans I've already been working on for this year...

I pray it will all unfold smoothly..
Amiin...


Tata!

My Precious Blue Gem

I've been very busy..
Juggling stuff here and there..

So busy I forgot what its like to jump for joy...

Until one day,

THIS!

caused a big fat chesire cat GRIN on my face!

=)

A gift from Love..

A token that we're meant to be..

and that we are well on our journey

to become 'Mr. and Mrs.' soon, InsyaAllah, he said.

=)

This precious Blue Gem,

I Love and care with all my heart..

Thank You Darling! =)

:(

Emosi terusik.
Perasaan terguris.



Sedih sangat...:'(


It is my fault..
Im such a dumbass...


Im Sorry :'(

Crazy Ending And Beginning

I forsee a CRAZY end to 2008 and beginning to 2009!

The whole house will be up for renovation..
And the whole process will last for almost TWO freakin month!

I cannot imagine my life staying in a house with DUSTs (lots of ém!)..

And there will be days where the family will be staying at a
country club (I think) for 3 days
just because the contractors are going to lay out some stuff on the
flooring and nobody should be around..

Im thinking maybe I should take leave from work during those few days..
so I can feeling-feeling tai-tai, you know...;)

But whatever it is,
I just want the days to past by FAST..
so we can all enjoy the 'new' house..

and sleep peacefully..

:)


Im out.


Tata!

Towards the SEVENs

Oh Gosh!

I've abandoned my blog for quite sometime..
The problem is,
I am having the writer's block syndrome..
erkk..


Well,
For now, Im just working towards the SEVENs..
It is something significant for me..
Everything is 'scrimp and save' at the moment..
Just to make sure that the SEVENs will come true..=)

May Allah bestow His assistance upon me..

Amiin...

Show Me The Path

Its like in sitting in a black box,
Four dark walls around me,
Nowhere else to go to..

Im still searching,
Im still thinking,
Im still confused..

I used to know,
But now I dont...

I dont think I can breathe,
Im stuck..

I want to get out,
I want to break free,

But where do I go?

Im scared I would make a wrong turn,
and never be able to get back to my comfort zone..

What if I fall?
I'd be alone..
Nobody would know the pain I'll feel..

Im scared....

Oh Lord,
Show me the light,
Show me the path I must walk on
to rediscover myself...


Oh no,
Oh no,
Where has my courage gone to?

NotTheBestOf Me

Not in the best of mood..
Is it really this pressurising?
Is it really this crappy?
Is it really hot these days?
And why am I so thirsty since this morning?
Is facebook photo uploading giving me a headache?
Do I really have to go to work tomorrow?
Is my family really going to Kota Kinabalu WITHOUT me?
Am I really going to be all alone come next weekend?
Is there really going to be a measly bonus end of this year?
How come everybody irked me?
And why am I feeling angry, anxious, annoyed, sad and restless
all of a sudden??

I am anything but joyful...:(


Seriously,
2008 has been a hell of a year...

There's still a month and a half more to go...
I dont wish for anymore nonsense..

:(

I Paling-mesra-pelanggan But I still get Shit!

Tiba-tiba hari ini perasaan hati saya rasa
macam nak sebut perkataan favorit ramai...

F***!

Boleh tak?



Saya tak suka minta duit..
Memang dari dulu saya tak suka meminta duit..
Sebab tu tak boleh jadi treasurer...
Kena tagih duit dari ahli kelab and so on..
Eeee..tak pandailah...

Tapi apakan daya,
Tugas saya memerlukan saya menagih duit dari
klien-klien....

Tagih bagai nak rak pun, belum tentu they will give us the cheque
in due time..

Sampai hilang sabar rasanya....
Si Pengurus dah sibuk tanya-tanya
"Have you called them?"

Dah. Dah.
Saya dah kol banyak kali,
saya rasa Im now the 'Most favourite person' bagi
klien-klien semua..

Hari ini,
Saya cuba kol lagi..
Walaupun rasa tension sebab nak kena minta duit..
(read: I dont like to ask for money)

Suara saya paling-mesra-pelanggan-dalam-dunia
masa kol mereka tadi...


Saya: Hi, Good Morning! This is Nurul, calling from C*ar B*uyer..
Pelanggan: Oh, hi... (tak mesra sungguh!)
Saya: Im calling regarding the overdue payments. How's the cheque?
has it been approved yet?
Pelanggan: (as always) No not yet.
Saya: I see..My record says the payment is over 90 days due..
Pelanggan: (sounded pissed!) I check, I call you later.. (TAK akan pernah kol balik)
Saya: Ok, Thank you.. Hope we would be able to get it by this week..
Pelanggan: yah yah..im busy..bye!
Saya: (-_-) Whatda!!!


Haiz...

This has been going on and on...
setiap kali saya kol,
KONFEM ada yang rude!

And almost all the klien memperlakukan saya sebegitu...
Sakitnya hati.........

kenapa mereka yang pissed?
Sepatutnya saya yang marah sebab klien tak bayar,
saya yang kena soal dengan boss...

Hello~
Bukan kena bayar pun untuk berbudi bahasa...




So how?
Boleh tak saya kata "F***!"??





Bengang!

Isnt She Precious

People,

Say hello to.....







My little princess!!
















Some of you thought I was going to adopt a real baby girl...
But sorry to dissappoint you...*wink*

hihihi....


Still thinking of a cute lil' name for it..

Wait for more news...........~~



:)

WantToAdopt

Congratulations to FH for his license! :)
I knew you can do it..:)

Anyways,
I've been looking around to adopt a baby girl..
I've prepared little by little the play area and stuff..
Oh Boy oh boy!
Im excited!

;)


Tata!

Ice-Skating and a Famous Person

Its a lazy Sunday..
I wish I could laze around till night time,
But I have to go to a wedding dinner tonight..


But anyway,
I had a wonderful Saturday!

First of all sorry to the babes,
I cant join them for their raya-ing...
I already made reservation and plans for yesterday
since a few weeks ago...


FH is going to be a year older this Monday,
Since its a working day,
I decided to celebrate earlier...

Made a lunch reservation at Grand Hyatt Hotel..
Reached there early...
Chill and cam-whore for a bit...=)

Haiz bilalah nak makan...



















And then we had our lunch which was fine
(Read: fine-dining ;))

I didnt take photos of the food..
was starving, so I totally forgot...

Tummy filled,
we headed to Kallang Leisure Park
for Ice-Skating!!



















That was my FIRST time...
Seriously I was nervous but excited to try..
It was cold,
but I was sweating like crazy....

I think it was my nerves..
hehe...

It was a good start...
Steady...steady...
and then, Bedebab!!
I fell....

Embarrasing?
YES!

But its was funny...
And that was the beginning of a series of falls...*shakes head*
Even after I got the hang of it,
I still fell a lot! *shakes head again*

Nevertheless,
It was super fun..

My skate figures..














Yay! I can skate now...=)



















with Flow....















Me trying to catch up....erk...




















Dear even joked:
"Sports ni lah baru tak kisah muhrim ke tak.."
Me:
"apsal pulak?"
Dear:
"sebab pakai gloves"
Me:
ROFL :p

In the end I didnt break any bones,
Good! ;)
It is now in our list of favourite pastime together..=)
And that was the end of our fun-filled day...=)

And then at night,
My brother called me
saying his friends-his band mates will be coming to our house for raya..

I waited and waited and waited,
and gave up...

I went to bed
only to be awakened by a knock on my door..

My bro and his friends were here already...
I said I cant be bothered....

But my mom came into my room and took my fan away..
so I couldnt sleep...
huhu..
I had to wake up no matter what..
hmph!

When I stepped into the living room,
I saw his friends,
one of them the famous AA...

Can you spot him?















Try again...Spot him...















Hopefully you guess right,
its A*liff A*ziz...

Because he came I have to wake up...
grr....:p

Nasib baik awak kelakar and tinggi dik.. kalau tak, akak tuang sirap merah kat baju putih awak tu... haha....

My mom was happy to entertain him and the other friends, though...
In my heart: "suka betul mak aku"
hihihi....



















They came, eat and sing...
SING??
yup...penting eh..?? ahakz....

And then off they went...
Naik lori tau....ahakz....

Haiz...

And me,
happily got my fan back and off to lala land~~

End Note: Happy Birthday Dear...!! Hope you had a wonderful time too!
Kita Sayang Awak (^_^)





















Tata!

Surreal Yesterday

Yesterday felt surreal..
We've been waiting, for the day with much anticipation
that when it actually came,
we didn't know what we should do...

We looked around for a bit...
Browse and commented a lot...
Its hard to have two different opinions
and want the best choice for both
at the same time.....

We had to scrutinise every single detail....

And then,
THERE!

There was the perfect place
that met our expectation...

To satisfy our curiosity,
we went to check out the place...

Oh yes! It was love at first sight....
The size,
The community centre,
The market place,
The bustop,
The MRT,
The Mall,
The neighbour,
The Place itself is so welcoming....

Somehow,
It felt right.....

We were both at peace with the place,
we started to imagine what we could do to it...
Sprucing it up with this and that,
How we are going to go about going to work
and even
which room is for what....


That's how surreal it is,
yesterday......

And than we applied....

The number of many others like us
who applied was way too many....

5th November,
We are keeping our hopes up..
So that it will become ours,
One Day....


This,
Marks our journey to embark on the future....

IÁllah....
Amin....

All P*INC and Shiny

Its been a week of Raya..
My only jalan-jalan was on the first day of 'eid
and the fourth day (that was only one house)..

Thats all..

When you're a working adult,
You dont really get the chance to go raya-ing
as much as you used to during school years...

Darn!

No wonder I got an instinct to not shop for raya this year..
ahakz....

Anyways,
After a hectic month in Ramadhan
helping out my mom with the cleaning and stuff-
tangan and kaki da macam orang keje kontrak-

So I finally get to do some manicure and pedicure!!

We went to P*INC at causeway point















Although Mary did hers a few days before,
I begged her to do it again...;)
maceh ye....














It was fun!
and I LOVE my shiny nails....
hehehe....



















Premium pedicure..cost a bomb..
But it was really really good....
My feet were as soft as a baby's..














My nails all oiled...














Would love to do it again next month...=)



I heard about a book titled
"The Last Lecture"



















I Googled it
and found it to be interesting....

So I ordered it from K*inokuniya...

Have not read it yet..
Still reading J*odi P*icoult's "Nineteen Minute"

Cant wait to finish it and move on to The Last Lecture...!


I had this weekend all planned...
But looks like there might be some changes...
Hoping that my plan remains as it is...



Tata!

My Mantra.

Hey..
Before I go to bed
allow me to spill a few things thats been 'playing' around
in my mind...

When I was a little girl,
I thought life was easy...
Everything was a breeze....
Whenever I saw adults having to face with some sort of issues and problems,
I thought " hey! Its tough being an adult huh..Im lucky Im a kid"

I almost wished I dont have to grow up..

Now that Im all grown up,
I have no choice but to BE an adult...
Do those things adults do...

Albeit all the fun parts
i.e. falling in love, work and get money, etc,
*wink*

I have to admit its really really tough...
So many challenges to face
So many issues to brave through..
So many matters to think of...

Im actually in a midst of thinking and planning
for the future...

Sometimes when I imagined of all the good things coming,
I get all excited
but I shuddered too much at the thought of the more serious stuff
that all the good things doesnt seem to be appealing anymore....

Love.
Finances.
family.
career.
etc.
etc.

juggle.juggle.juggle.


Might be all beds of roses in the first few years...
Im not too worried about that..

I badly want to be sure that I will be able to juggle it well
after the beds of roses period........

Get what I mean?

I guess,
Its a team effort...

"seseorang itu harus mempunyai sikap 'kuasa' untuk melakukan sesuatu walaupun perkara itu kecil" - Masturah Ahmad

Its my mantra for now..

;)




nuff said.

Im going to bed.

Tata!

My super low key raya...

As known,
my éid was low key...

But prior to the news that my Gradma was admitted to hospital,
My family was still at home...

My bro and his family came...

Had a little fun with lil'Dini..
She and her Barney bagai tak dapat dipisahkan lagi...
hihihi....

I gave her my camera and...
voila! shes a pro for kids her age..;)

She just couldnt stop shooting...
Boy, was I entertained...
hehehe...

These are some of the peek-chas she took...














Complete family portrait...














My bro and his family...














And there she is..
Miss Dini aka "I-am-Barney's-number-1-fan"
;)



















Raya treats....















My zakat for the kiddos...
(I've got a gazillion little cousins, nieces and nephews..kwang3)



















And thats all
Coz I cant possibly take pictures in the hospital
can I...





PS: There goes my surprise...Surprise!! ;)

My Prayer...

Hey
Its the third of Syawal..

I'd like to apologize to each and every one of my friends,
acquaintances and fellow blogger/blog readers for any blunders and mistakes
I did, intended or not..

Hope all of you had a wonderful 'eid..:)

Mine was low key
as my grandmother was admitted to hospital
the very 1st day of eid..

She fell,
broke her hip bone and fractured her wrist..:(
What worries me is the fact that she fell and fractured the same
hip bone some time earlier this year..:(

I pray to Allah Almighty,
May my beloved Grandma stay strong and
she will get well soon..

I extend my prayer to my sister in law's mother
who was also admitted to hospital for a minor stroke..
Syafahallah...










PS: Dilemma and Worried of what the future holds..

Lucky

Dedication to FH:


Do you hear me,
Talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday




*sigh*

(^_^)